This conversation speaks directly to the reality of addiction, shame, relapse, and the exhausting cycle of trying to start over. It captures what it feels like to be stuck, to lose trust, to hide from family, and to keep reaching for something that numbs pain without ever solving it.
At the center of the message is a hard-earned truth: recovery is not just about willpower, and healing is often tied to surrender, support, and spiritual strength. For anyone who has felt defeated or judged, these words offer a reminder that repeated failure does not have to be the final story.
The speaker shares the emotional toll of substance use — spending the last money, disappearing for days, and facing loved ones after another setback. But the message does not stay in pain; it moves toward hope, with a clear testimony of overcoming “through Christ” and placing trust in God as the path forward.
Key Topics
[00:00:01] - Repeating the same addiction cycle and feeling controlled by substance use
[00:00:32] - Hiding from family, avoiding calls, and numbing deep pain
[00:00:57] - Relapse after periods of stability, work, and hope
[00:01:36] - Finding deliverance and overcoming through Christ
Relevant Links
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): https://www.samhsa.gov/
SAMHSA National Helpline: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA): https://www.aa.org/
Narcotics Anonymous (NA): https://www.na.org/
Celebrate Recovery: https://www.celebraterecovery.com/
This episode is a raw reminder that addiction can isolate, shame, and exhaust, but it does not define a person’s future. Real change often begins when the cycle is named honestly and hope is placed in something greater than the struggle.
If you or someone you love is in that place, recovery is possible, and help is available. Healing may take time, but it can begin with one honest step toward support, community, and faith.
[00:00:01] - [Speaker 0]
Yes. I know what it's like to be someone who is looked down upon because over and over again, I've ended up in the same place time and time again, controlled by a controlled substance over and over again. Times I have said, when I get out of this, I'm not gonna do this anymore. But yet, I've been that person that had been there over and over again. I know what it feels like to spend all my money.
[00:00:32] - [Speaker 0]
And at the end, I've been out three or four days away from my family with the car not answering my phone trying to avoid that hurt and pain. The same hurt and pain that I'm using that controlled substance to numb. I know what it's like to be in turmoil. I know what it's like to feel defeated. I know what it's like for people in the family to to be looking at you and talk about you as though you're never gonna change.
[00:00:57] - [Speaker 0]
I know what it's like to spend my very last with the drug dealer. I know what it's like. I know what it's like that when I'm doing well and things have been going good for months at a time, having a new job and being all by myself on a payday saying just one, only one or just a few hits of this or a few hits of that. Only to to be out there for days and days on end. Having spent everything, not answering your phone, feeling like there's no hope, and then turn around and have to turn around and go home to my family and look them in the face and say, failed again.
[00:01:36] - [Speaker 0]
I know what it's like, but I also know what it's like to overcome through Christ. I know what it's like to put my hands in God's hands and overcome the situation that I've been in time and time again. Yes. I know what it's like.